We're facebook friends in real life
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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