well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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