Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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