why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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