Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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