STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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