How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize