So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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