SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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