i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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