in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
