There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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