On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
