it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
