Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
