Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
