but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
