Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
