So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
