After last night, I could never be a politician.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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