i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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