just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize