ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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