I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
