Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Everyone says I win the strip club
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
