let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
