And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
