Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just pee around me
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
