so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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