My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
