Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
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He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
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Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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