Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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