im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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