remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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