So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
