What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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