420 ftw
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize