Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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