So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
