I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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