Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
