It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
