just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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