dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
