the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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