Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
