According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize