his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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