whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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