I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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