Kiss
Puke
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
