I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
