the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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