Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
