we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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