Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
